Tuesday, February 1, 2011

It's Time for Balance

I'm no stranger to blogging. In fact, blogs and other web 2.0 tools pretty much butter my sprouted grain bread these days. Publishing blogs started as a hobby, turned into a profession, and is now becoming a major pillar in my overall lifestyle. I am starting this blog on the first day of February in the year 2011 as a tool to help me integrate the fragments of my life, to keep records for personal reflection and goal management, and as a diary for my pursuit of beautiful Balance. I've contributed to and published a number of niche blogs that hone in on a particular subject. These are great for cutting through the noise when you are looking for specific info. However, I've found that concentrating on one narrow part of anything inevitably creates an imbalance in perception. And as we know, perception tends to shape experience.

For example, one of my former blogs was called "Size 6 or Bust." As I'm sure you've guess, it was a weight loss blog spawned by my obsession with becoming what I felt was the size ideal for looking good in clothes. You see, I work in the fashion industry, which means I spend my days looking at beautiful clothes worn my beautiful, but usually very very slim people. Accordingly, I was constantly wanting to be thinner and even though a size 6 is still larger than what most people with what I call "fashion sickness" would like to be, I thought it was a nice compromise between where I was (overweight, lethargic) and where the Anna Wintour empire kept suggesting I should be. That combined with a background as a dancer and I'm definitely prone to body image... let's call them "issues." So the blog began in an all out to lose weight - no matter why or how. I fell into the common traps of "detox" methods, obsessive calorie counting, and bulimic exercising. I even toyed with the idea of taking pills, but never did because there was always this nagging voice somewhere inside me that told me I was heading in the wrong direction.

All of these methods of course worked for weight loss, but soon I realized that my goal was more appropriately finding fitness at whatever size was right for my body. So that blog began to change and I began doing more research about food and how it really works in the body. Soon, a blog with a title proclaiming that a certain size was do or die just felt all wrong. I wake up thankful everyday that I get to work on a subject that I'm passionate about, but it's clear to me that I will have to maintain a strong sense of self not to get sucked into that ugly cycle that makes so many fashionistas (hate that word) forgo healthy diets in favor of the cigarettes and coffee that keep them slim.

Reflecting on who I was a decade ago (wow, time flies) makes me realize that my goals are fundamentally the same. What's changed is my ability to perceive conceive the bigger picture and understand determine how all the little goals fit together to create one holistic and satisfying life experience. It's out of this new wisdom that this blog is born. I submit my entries, not as an expert, but as a sincere and dedicated traveler on a journey. My last 6 or Bust post was titled "It's Time for Insanity" and that's exactly what past portions of my life have been: INSANE. I'm ready to put that vicious cycle to rest. Now, It's Time for Balance.

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